Ticklish
by thoughtless dreamer
Summary: Ed discovers a surprising weakness of a certain Homunculus... Rated for yaoi, language, and to be safe.


**Disclaimer**: I do not own Full Metal Alchemist in any other place than my dreams… speaking of which-- **Daydreams**

Jessie: Hazzah! I'm being productive!

Joh: Like me!

Jessie: Exactly!

Joh: **Jumps up and down**

Jessie: So, here's what's up: while Joh and I were away at camp, we gathered _plenty _of awesome ideas for writing!

Joh: **Nods** Shaw.

Jessie: And there was this _one_ idea I got from our good friend, Mia!

Joh: Really?

Jessie: Yup, she inspired me to write a fic based on the great idea she gave me! She's a genius.

Joh: True, true!

Jessie: So I'm dedicating this fic to you entirely, Mia! Love ya; you're awesome. Thanks for the idea!

**Warning**: At this point, I'm known to be none other than a proud **yaoi**-writer/fangirl! Yes, one of my dreams has come true. Anti-**yaoists**; this warning is for you, as always:

_**WARNING! YAOI AHEAD! WARNING! YAOI AHEAD!**_

_**WARNING! YAOI AHEAD! WARNING! YAOI AHEAD!**_

_**WARNING! YAOI AHEAD! WARNING! YAOI AHEAD!**_

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"Envy... Envy, where are you?" A voice called, the tone confused.

Said Homunculus opened one amethyst, catlike eye, irritated that he'd been roused from his nap. _'What the fuck… why can't he come and find me himself?'_ he thought groggily, though a small smirk made itself evident on his face. After all, said caller _did_ have good reason to ask where he was. Obviously, he'd checked all of Envy's usual spots already, meaning the couch in the living room, their bed, and the closet near the front door Envy so often jumped out of to glomp his surprised lover.

"Envy… you tricky bastard, I know you're here." Envy's smirk broadened at these words. Envy sniggered, and knew at once that he'd been heard; swearing could be heard as his partner stomped up the stairs. Envy heard the footsteps falter outside the bedroom door, before they moved on down the hall. He'd obviously come in and checked the bed before while Envy had still been asleep. _'Mmm …I _do _oh so love Cat-and-mouse,'_ the wild-haired Sin thought smugly before crossing his arms, closing his eyes, and letting himself start to doze off. _'He'll never think to look in here-'_

_Slam_

Envy opened his eyes at the sound of the door in front of his face slamming open, and lifted an eyebrow when he found himself staring into narrowed, golden eyes. There was a long silence as they stared each other down.

"…Um, Envy? If you don't mind my asking: exactly what the _fuck_ are you doing hanging upside down in the bedroom closet?"

"Picturing you –minus the clothes- squirming and moaning beneath my own naked body, while fucking you senseless," Envy replied immediately, as if it was the most natural thing in the world to be doing. However, the smirk gave away his lie.

A blush rushed to Ed's face nonetheless, and the blonde chibi glared at Envy. Envy winked, before yawning widely and closing his eyes.

"…Now, in all honestly… _what_ are you doing?" Ed asked once he'd gotten his blush under control, sounding exasperated. Envy shrugged lightly, not bothering to open his eyes.

"Sleeping."

"…And you're sleeping upside down, in a closet, _why?"_

"'Cuz I feel like it."

"…You're sleeping _upside down,_ in a _closet_, because you _feel _like it_?"_ Ed echoed incredulously.

"Fuck, yeah," Envy smirked. Ed raised an eyebrow in confusion at Envy's remark, and walked out of the closet, leaning against the wall and staring at the ceiling as he futilely attempted to think of a logical instance in which someone were to sleep upside down in a closet when they had a whole, entirely furnished house to themselves. None came to mind.

"…Oookay," Ed said at long last.

Ed sighed.

Ed looked down to his feet and stared at them, comparing his automail foot to his flesh one.

…Ed got bored.

"Hey, Envy?"

There was no response.

"_Envy," _Ed turned to look into the closet and glare at the smirking Homunculus, only to come face to face with a sleeping one. Ed blinked, tried desperately to keep the inevitable smirk twitching on the corners of his lips off his face, and failed miserably. This was just too cute.

"Envy, honestly, get down…" His lover did not respond.

"_Envy!" _Ed whined, crossing his arms and glaring heatedly even though the green-haired male couldn't see it.

Ed felt utterly insulted that he was being ignored, while Envy was usually the one who simply _refused_ to let Ed ignore _his_ presence. He would claim that _he_ never ignored the chibi-- _'Damn right he doesn't; he can't stop fucking molesting me for one fucking second.'_

"Of course. The first time I actually _need_ your attention, and you ignore me," Ed deadpanned. Envy seemed to smirk slightly in his sleep, infuriating the blonde teen even further.

"Wake up, asshole," Ed muttered angrily, reaching up and poking the Homunculus in the side.

Ed was honestly shocked when Envy woke up with a surprised yelp and fell to the floor, landing on his head.

"Fuck! What the hell is _wrong _with you, Edo?" Envy yelled, his voice cracking slightly (Envy's voice wasn't one very suitable for yelling). He was about to go into a fluent tirade of curses, when he saw Ed's state and stopped.

Ed's eyes were wide, and his mouth hung open as he stared down at Envy. The Sin blinked; all his previous anger melted away in an instant as it was replaced by curiosity.

"Ne… O'chibi-san, what's wro--"

"Are you _ticklish?"_ Ed blurted out. Once he righted himself, Envy raised an eyebrow at the blonde.

"How can you even consider that a strong, sexy, powerful being such as myself could _possibly_ be _ti-!"_ Envy's words were cut off by a loud laugh that escaped his lips as Ed unexpectedly poked him in the stomach. Violet eyes widened in horror as a slow, victorious smile spread across Ed's lips.

'_Oh…**shit**.'_

"N-ne, E-Edo, you're not getting any… any _bad_ ideas about how you could possibly use this to your advantage, now, are you?" Envy said with a nervous, slightly pained-looking smile.

"Why, _Envy,_" Ed gushed.

"How can you even consider that such a thoughtful, considerate, _powerful_ being like myself could _possibly_ use something like _this_ to my advantage?" Ed asked innocently, smiling so brightly it seemed –to Envy– downright evil.

Envy gulped, and slowly got to his feet, very much aware that Ed's golden eyes were watching his every movement.

"Of _course_; my mistake," Envy said with a false sense of cheerfulness, slowly inching around the chibi.

"Well, I'll just be leaving no--"

"--Oh, _you're_ not going _anywhere_," Ed announced loudly, stepping in Envy's way. Envy froze, and his eyes narrowed.

"Who are _you_ to be ordering _me_ around, Edo?" Envy said, half growling, half purring. To his surprise (and amusement), Ed actually hesitated, swearing under his breath when he flushed slightly at Envy's sultry tone.

Envy lunged at the alchemist and tackled the blonde to the bed, not missing a beat. Ed squawked in protest, trying to push his taller lover off of his chest. His struggles paused, though, when he felt Envy's rough tongue slide across his neck. He groaned, unhappy that he'd lost his moment of dominance, but thoroughly enjoying the attention.

Envy made a strange noise when he felt Ed's finger squeeze his thigh, and pulled back, giving Ed the opportunity to flip him over, pinning him down beneath himself.

Violet eyes gazed up angrily at the badly hidden smirk on Ed's face.

"Chibi…" Envy said in a warning tone. He _hated_ being uke; worst of all, Ed knew that, and was trying –and, although Envy hatred to admit it, succeeding– to dominate him anyway!

"Edo, I--" Envy broke off into a moan as Ed bit down on his neck, and began sucking and licking the bite furiously. Ed pressed his face into Envy's shoulder, and the Homunculus felt Ed's lips form a smirk against his skin.

His wandering hands began to lower, and Envy made a soft strangled noise when he suddenly bit back a laugh as Ed randomly grabbed at his sides, and anywhere he suspected Envy might be ticklish. Which actually happened to be in quite a numerous amount of locations.

Envy was getting very frustrated. You couldn't blame him, either. One minute the blonde chibi was kissing him like there was no tomorrow, the next he was tickling him, trying to get a laugh out of him. Which Envy did _not_ intend to give him the pleasure of hearing, by the way.

Envy's eye locked on Ed's whenever they made eye contact, a warning look in them that silently ordered Ed to stop, which Ed ignored completely.

Golden eyes flickered down towards…

The color drained from Envy's face.

'_Oh, _**hell**_ no.'_

"Edo…" Envy said, putting on his best cool look, while trying to keep the fear out of his voice upon seeing an evil smirk spread across Ed's lips.

Ed's eyes never left Envy's as he sat down on him and reached backward to grab Envy's ankle.

"Edo! Chibi! Nooo!" Envy yelled, sent into a panic at the sight of Ed holding his vulnerable foot with his right hand; meaning there was no way he was getting his foot back without breaking Ed's automail, which meant he wouldn't escape without Ed breaking _him_ somewhere.

Ed had merely traced a finger feather lightly down the middle of Envy's foot, when the Homunculus let out a loud shriek of laughter.

"No! Stop it, Chibi!" Envy managed to gasp desperately, struggling to move away as best he could under Ed's full weight on top of him. But his laughter only increased in volume when Ed's light traces turned into full-out tickling.

Ed was engrossed in watching Envy's features lighten the most he had ever seen when Envy's laughter became hysterical. For the first time, Ed discovered Envy was one of those people whose laughter is the contagious kind, for Ed couldn't hold back his own fit of giggles at the sight of his lover laughing so hard there were tears of laughter in the corners of his eyes.

"Edo! S-sto-stooop!" Envy howled, before bursting out into yet another set of giggles.

"Nope; ya gotta beg, Envy," Ed smirked, his smirk broadening at Envy's horrified expression.

"Fuck, no!" Envy growled, before he was, yet again, reduced to tears of laughter.

"Okay! Okay! I give! P-please…"

"Please _what?_" Envy sent one of those very specific "you-are-_so_-gonna-regret-this-later-when-_I'm_-dominant" look.

"No." Ed shrugged, and dropped Envy's foot. Envy let out a huge sigh of relief, thinking that Ed was done tormenting him.

…How _incredibly_ wrong he was.

When Envy started to move, thinking Ed would allow him to get up, Ed merely pinned him back down to the bed, holding his arms over his head with one hand, and smirking down into his face.

"Hey, Nii-san! I just thought I'd stop by to--" A cheerful voice both started and stopped abruptly from the doorway behind Ed.

"…N-Nii-san?" The voice asked timidly, and Ed's eyes widened, and his head snapped around to stare incredulously at his younger brother. He knew that if his brother did not have a suit of armor for a body, he would have been blushing terribly.

Envy, smirking at the turn of events, immediately took advantage of his position, and began squirming wildly.

"Ed, no! Please stop!" He whimpered. He glanced desperately at the would-be horrified suit of armor.

"Please help me! Make him stop!" Envy whined out, adding a loud sniff for good measure. He caught Ed's mortified expression, and winked.

"_Edward!"_ Ed winced violently –inwardly damning Envy's ability to turn any and all scenarios into ones that were to his own advantage– and Al completely missed Envy's victorious snicker.

'_Heh. _Everyone_ has a weakness. Unfortunately for Ed, his can speak his mind and get him into trouble_._'_

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Jessie: **Laughs** I want to take this time to give my thanks to **_HolyMistress_** cuz she helped me come up with the ending when I got writer's block. Thanks so much! You _totally_ rock.

Joh: Shaw!

Jessie: And thank you, Mia, for giving me this awesome idea!

Joh: **Stifles laughter** Envy's ticklish.

Jessie: Yep.

J twins: **Stare at each other before cracking up**

(Please review. You _know_ you wanna review the person who made Envy ticklish! **…Still laughing…**)

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